


Kaner is a WHAT?!

by Kenarik



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Feelings, M/M, Surprises, more than friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 05:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1676387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenarik/pseuds/Kenarik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon gets a mysterious text from Pat and they end up find a few surprises along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ginger Kitten

**Author's Note:**

> If you found this by googling yourself, someone you know or someone you work with... do us all a favor and back up. I own only the story, nothing else.

Johnny unlocked the door and was surprised to find 4 kittens nearby, seemingly waiting for him. "What the? Kaner, where are you?" The largest of the kittens, the ginger one in fact, meowed loudly at him. Toeing off his shoes, he began exploring the condo, still calling for Kaner. The kittens followed him from room to room. Finally he gave up and sat on the couch. "Fine fucker, ask me to come over, let myself in and _still_ not be here." He then noticed Kaner's phone sitting on the couch. Picking it up, he noticed that it was set for texting. 

Suddenly there was a small thump next to him, looking over he saw that the annoying kitten had joined him on the couch. In fact he was heading over to the phone in Johnny's hand right now. Johnny was so engrossed in watching the kittens one by one jump up and wander over on the couch that he jumped when the phone began ringing. Without even thinking he answered it. "Kaner's phone, I don't know where he is right now."

Donna's voice met his ears. "Jon? Thank goodness, tell me this are there 4 kittens or young cats in the apartment? " She sounded worried. He answered in the affirmative and heard a huge sigh of relief. "Oh thank god. There should be a bag of kitten food in a bottom cabinet. Along with several bowls. Would you put some food out for them please, and water, who knows how long they've been changed this time."

Johnny stopped, ‘this time’? "Mrs. Kane what are you saying? Kaner and his sisters, where are they?" He stood from the couch and looked around. Then she dropped the bombshell. 

"Why Jon, didn't Pat tell you? When he and his sisters get stressed they change into cats of various sizes. If they're all kittens, this is a bad sign." Johnny looked down at the largest kitten and sighed. Of course Kaner would do something weird like this. "Hold on, let me see when we can get out there." He heard the clicking of keys on a keyboard and then a large sigh. "Jon, neither of us are going to be able to help. Flights have been cancelled due to weather. I hate to ask but do you think you could care for them until they change back?"

By now he had found his legs and was rooting around in the cabinets for the food and bowls she mentioned. "Uh, well we have today off and tomorrow is only skate. As long as they don't take too long I should be able to. " Success! He had found the correct cabinet. Pulling out the bowls and such he noticed that he had followers. "How long do they normally take?"

Mrs. Kane chuckled. "Normal is relative Jon. All you really have to do is make sure they can not hurt themselves. They are all box trained and don't forget that. Pat should have a soft sided carrier somewhere in a closet if you want to take them out. PetSmart is a favorite place when they are like this. There might be collars in the carrier too, Pat likes to be prepared. Oh Jon you have no idea how sweet this is of you. They can be mischievous when they are like this unless you run them out of energy." 

Jon listened and had a sinking feeling. He knew how Kaner could be when he had too much energy, he couldn't imagine what he'd be like as a kitten. Let alone he _and_ his sisters. He assured Donna that he would take care of them and got off the phone. By now he'd measured out food and found a big shallow bowl for water for them and they were munching away. Jon had never seen a cat carrier in Pat's place but he was going to look for it now. He left the kittens in the kitchen and began hunting for it in ernest. 

After 10 minutes he found it in Pat's closet on the floor. Bringing it out with him to the living room, he opened it and found several collars inside. Looking at them all carefully, he could see the personality of each of them in their collars. Pat had a Blackhawks one while his sisters each had a different one. Jon put them on the coffee table and found a note inside addressed to him. 

‘Johnny, if you're reading this you know my biggest secret. Yeah when I'm too stressed I turn into a cat. The smaller I am, the more stressed. Do NOT under ANY circumstance give me catnip! You think I'm bad when drunk, that is worse. The easiest way to help me is make sure that I'm cared for. I hope you've called mom and know that I do have some food and such. Don't worry, I am box trained so you won't find any surprises unless you piss me off. If you've found this then you see that I do have a collar so I can be brought outside, trust me a trip to PetSmart will do us both some good in dealing with this. If my sisters are here too, they each have collars too. I know this is a lot to ask, but please Johnny take care of me until I get back to normal. -Pat’

Jon sat there stunned by the thought that had been put into the note. He picked up each of the collars in turn and read the tags on them. Kaner, Jess, Erica and Jacqui. He chuckled. Of course Pat would put his nickname on his. As he sat there he thought about it, he should pick up a book about caring for cats if he's going to do this right. "You guys about done stuffing your faces? I think we need to go out for a bit."

Quickly he found himself being climbed by 3 of the 4 kittens. He laughed at this. "Ow, you guys do know you have claws right? Okay, okay chill out. Do you want your collars or not?" That seemed to settle them all. Jon was able to sit back down and move the collars to the couch. "Do me a favor, show me which one is which."

The ginger kitten went first, scooting the Hawks collar over. "Of course, the loud one." Jon said as he buckled it on Kaner. The Grey Tabby was next, moving the purple and turquoise collar with her. “That’s right those are your favorite colors aren’t they Jess.” The sweet Tortoiseshell was next, carefully moving Vampire Love collar. "Jacqui, I can’t believe you got him into those Twilight books." That left the Tuxedo kitten and the pink sparkly bangled one. “Erica, pink sparkles huh?” Now that he could tell the apart at a glance, he opened the carrier. "All aboard for PetSmart, if I'm going to do this, I'm doing it right." He swore he saw Kaner roll his eyes as he padded into the carrier.

As they got into PetSmart, Jon admonished them. "Stay in the cart, I'm not chasing you all over the store." He then unzipped the top of the carrier and then had a cart full of kittens. He pushed the cart down the aisle where the food was and began looking at the bags. "What did you do, get the cheapest stuff man? Look, this is better for you." He showed the bag he was looking at to a kitten whom was judging him. "Does anyone else know? Management or the trainers?" Suddenly this kind of thing worried Johnny. Who would help if something like this happened when they were on the road? Had it happened already and he had never known? 

Kaner climbed Jon’s shirt and set himself up on Johnny's shoulder and began purring. "Are you telling me not to freak out about this? You know it's a big deal right?" His ear got licked by a rough tongue. "Ok, I'll stop freaking. We should get you guys some toys and maybe a cat tree. What do you think?" The purring resumed.

When all was said and done Jon had the best cat tree (Kane Kitten Family approved), books on caring for cats at several stages and more toys than he thought he should, though not one was a catnip one. He brought everything up carefully and set the "kids" free once the door was closed. He then sat on the couch and rubbed his temples. "Kaner, does _anyone_ else on the team know?" Kaner padded over to his phone and worked his contacts down to Sharpy. "Of course. Can I call him to help with setting up the cat tree?" Kaner seemed to think about this for a moment and then exaggeratedly nodded. Jon jumped on the chance. "Sharpy, it's Jon. Look I wouldn't bug you on an off day but I've got a kitten problem." The other end of the line went silent and then burst out laughing loudly.

"So, you finally know Peekaboo's big secret. What do you need to know?" Jon could hear him lean back and put his feet up.

"Well, it's not just him. His sisters are visiting remember? It's _that_ kind of kitten problem. As in too many of them for me to safely put together the cat tree they picked out." That quickly got Sharpy to agree to bring the family over to help.

To pass the time, Jon got out a few of the toys. Mainly the mini net and crinkle balls he had gotten. As soon as they were free from the packaging, he had the kittens at his feet. Jon set the net up near the entertainment center and dropped one of the balls in front of Kaner. Quickly an impromptu hockey game broke out on the hardwood floor. 

30 minutes later there was a knock on the door. Sharpy and family came in before he exclaimed. "Holy! You weren't kidding. Ok, we can handle this. Where is Kaner?“ Jon heard a rustling and looked to see Kaner doing his best to hide. Sharpy goes over and pulls out a now frustrated Kaner. "Peekaboo, what are you stressed about this time?” Setting him down again, Sharpy clapped his hands. “Ok, where's this cat tree you picked out. Kaner, you can either help or go play with Maddie, Sadie and Abby.”

An hour later there were two cat trees, turns out Kaner had one already, and a third that was found in the back bedroom and moved. “What I don’t get is how he told you before me Sharpy.” Jon was sitting on the couch watching Kaner play with Maddie. 

Sharpy sighed and looked at Abby who shrugged. “Jonny, it wasn’t that he told me, it was that I caught him right after a change once your rookie year. I was talking to him about, I forget what now, and I turned to grab my phone and when I turned back there was this ginger kitten sitting where Kaner had _just_ been. I flipped out and found out that out training staff knew that this was a possibility and were prepared.” Jon sank against the back of the couch, relief written all over his face.

“Thank god! At least someone on the bench knows. They’re mom didn’t sound worried when I spoke to her earlier.” Sharpy smiled, got up and grabbed Kaner’s laptop. 

“Kane Kitten Klan! Wanna Skype your folks?” All four of them perked up and made a bee line for the couch. Sharpy got things set up and luckily Donna was on. As soon as they connected Sharpy said hello. “Hello Mrs. Kane, we thought that maybe seeing you would help.”

Donna chuckled. “It couldn’t hurt. Where did that cat tree come from?” The tree Jon had picked (and Kaner had approved) was clearly in the background of the shot on their end.

Jon’s cheeks flamed. “Uh, they liked it and I thought that maybe it would be something smart for him to have. The girls have been perched on it since we finished it. Kaner’s been playing with Madelyn on the floor.” He saw a smile on Donna’s face.

“Thank you both for everything you’ve done even for this short a time. According to the news the weather should be breaking before the girls fly home which should help a lot more.” Jess, Jacqui and Erica all visibly relaxed at this news. 

In a little bit they all said good night and the Sharps took their two non-furry kids home. Jon was left with the Kane kittens. When he was ready for bed, he announced it. “Ok Kaner seeing that it’s easier to keep you guys here I’m taking over your bed. I’ll leave the door cracked and whomever joins me, joins me.” He headed back to Pat’s room and true to his word left the door cracked enough to let them through if need be. After the oddness of the day Jon was glad to be able to get some sleep and hoped that things would be relatively normal in the morning.


	2. Telling the Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaner figures out why he's changed this time and tells the rest of the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cats can't smile so they scrunch up their eyes. http://orpikjam44.tumblr.com/post/86631807999/embersilence-nowyoukno-nowyoukno-more-about

He was partially right. The next morning he was woken by a purr in his ear and the smell of coffee nearby. Putting a hand to where the purring was he found Kaner sitting in the crook of his neck. “Hey, still a kitten I see.” He found his ear licked again. Carefully he picked Pat up and got out of bed. “Someone isn’t though, unless you know how to work your coffee maker with paws.” Again he got the judging look.

Padding out, Kaner in his hands he found that only Pat was still so small. Erica looked up and smiled. “Morning Jon. Thanks for everything yesterday, it was horrible not knowing if we could get home or not. Although we’ve been talking and none of us have any idea why Pat is still so small unless he’s worried we won’t get home safely.” Pat sneezed and shook his tiny head. 

Jess picked up the conversation. “Anyway, we’ve checked and we can get a flight home if we go and put our names on the list today. Unfortunately that means we need to get moving so we can get out today. Don’t worry about getting us to the airport, we raided Pat’s emergency kitten fund.” They were picking up their stuff.

Jon’s brain must not have been up to speed. “Emergency kitten fund?” A note was laid in front of him and he read. ‘Hey, this is the emergency fund in case of kitten/cat form. This can be used to get things we all might need, including getting to and from the airport. Just make sure you put this on the kitchen counter so I know it’s been raided when I’m more myself again.’ Jon was impressed, this was a great idea. “I can take you guys if you’d rather.”

The girls smiled. “Jon, we have to be there _before_ practice. It’s not going to bother us to use the route we already have planned. We’ve done it a couple times through the years.” Jacqui came over and plucked Kaner out of Jon’s hands.

Putting her nose on the top of his head she scrubbed it. “Stay safe bro and stop stressing. This is better than what’s happened before.” She cuddled her brother close and then set him on the counter.

Erica had come over to Jon meanwhile. “Take care of him and yourself. I have a feeling I know _why_ he’s like this right now and I think you’re the only one that can fix it this time. Take him with you as many places as you can and just treat him normally. He may look fuzzy and adorable but he’s still our pain in the butt brother.” Jon just smirked, she’d hit the nail on the head.

“That’s for sure, this is just better than Madison. At least now it explains some things I’d been wondering about too. I’ll make sure he calls you all when he’s back to, well as normal as he ever gets.” Pat bats at him while his sisters betray him and laugh. They wave and leave the condo.

Jon makes sure both of them eat before taking a quick shower. He kept a few things here at Pat’s place cause there were times that they just got too tired to go home, no matter how short the journey. Once dressed, he pulled out the carrier again and looked at how small Kaner was right now. “Man, you’re gonna swim in this thing. You have anything smaller?”

Kaner sneezed and then ran for a closet in the guest bedroom. Jon followed and found a much better soft carrier for one. Jon also noticed that the guest bed has a nest of blankets on it. “You guys slept in here?” Pat shook his head carefully in a negative fashion and then flopped over. Jon chuckled. “Made yourself dizzy didn’t you.” Kaner looked up at him and glared which just made Jon laugh more fully. “Come on, I’ll grab this you go find something to keep you occupied while the rest of us are working.”

Jon left the room, leaving Pat alone. Being unable to talk sucked at least he and his sisters could communicate with each other. He heaved himself up and went out into the living room. As he went through the toys he couldn’t help but thank his lucky stars that Jon seemed to be taking this in a better stride than yesterday. That eased some of his worry but apparently not enough for him to either get back to human or grow as a cat. Sighing he separated a few toys that he wanted and wished that more people knew about his issue. Then again, at least those who did know were guys he trusted.

Jon came into the living room and found the separated toys. “Cool.” He opened the smaller carrier and made sure the toys were safely put into another bag. “I added a hoodie to this bag, I hope that’s ok.” If Pat could have smiled and had Jon understand it, he would have. Instead he meowed, scrunched his eyes and then went into the carrier.

Jon was the first player to practice which gave them both reason to sigh in relief. Of course the training staff was here already and hard at work. Jon cleared his throat a little louder than normal, garnering the attention he desired. “Um… I don’t know if Coach Q knows about this but I’ve been told you guys do.” He put the carrier up on one of the treatment tables. 

Mike came over and unzipped it. “You realized Kaner that we have a flight this afternoon right?” Pat seemed to deflate and nod. “Jon how did you find out?” He asked as Pat walked out of the carrier and started working open the zipper on the bag Jon had brought.

Jon felt his ears flame. “Uh… I got a strange text from Kaner asking me to come over and to let myself in. I spent all day yesterday making sure he and his sisters were cared for.” Mike looked concerned and checked the carrier. “They were back to normal this morning and going to find out if they can get home today. Apparently the weather had them worried.”

Mike nodded. “Let them know that if they can’t get a flight out, they can hitch a ride with us. So Pat, what are we doing to do with you during practice?” Pat lifted his head, and the toy he had in his mouth up. Mike just laughed. “I didn’t think you had stuff like that.”

Jon looked guilty. “Um, he didn’t. I took them all yesterday and got some stuff. There’s a mini net in there too.” Mike nodded. “Anyway, who else knows about this condition of?” Jon was nodding to Kaner.

Mike laughed. “Don’t worry about it, we’re all well aware of this. Even Coach Q knows this happens at times. At least with these things we can still have him work on things. You’re going to go home with a tired kitten if I can help it.” 

That hit Jon kind of oddly. He was going home with Kaner. He didn’t have time to deal with that idea so he buried it. He’d brought Pat’s phone so he typed out a quick text. ‘If you can’t get a flight, hawks are willing to let you stow away.’ A few minutes later he got one back. ‘We’re good, boarding now. See you at home!’ 

Sharpy was the next guy in and unsurprisingly checked in. “Still a kitten I see.” Jon nodded. “His sisters around or are they at his place?” Jon was starting his morning routine.

“They were fine this morning, boarding a flight now.” He stopped and looked at Sharpy. “How often does this happen to him?” 

Sharpy sighed, somehow he knew the conversation wasn’t over from last night. “Depends. Some things, like losses, he can handle no problem. Other things make him stress out and change. Let Peeks work this through, he should be back tomorrow morning at the latest. He doesn’t miss games.”

Just then Coach Q came in. “Jon, Sharpy. I’ve been told about the issue, thank you for being discreet about it.” He pulled up a chair and sat down. “We just had a conversation and Kaner made it clear that he wants to tell the guys.”

Jon coughed into his drink. How did they do that? Mike and Kaner came out of the training room, Mike had something with him. “Ah, there you are.” Mike put the mat down and to Jon’s surprise there were words in Kaner’s handwriting on it. “You’re sure this is the right time to be doing this?”

Kaner sighed as best he could and sat in front of the mat he had written out years ago. He forcefully batted at the word yes. This was not the best way to communicate but it was better than nothing. He then batted out a message. Time to stop hiding. It was time to stop hiding a lot of things but this was the most important to the team. He have to remember where the larger mat was at home so he could have a more serious conversation with Jon while they packed. 

Once the room was filled, Jon got everyone’s attention. “Hey! Um, there’s something that I’ve just found out about and it’s been decided you guys need to know too.” Kaner had been hiding in his stall and came out. He heard the trepidation in Jon’s voice. He nosed the mat onto the floor and ignored the odd looks he was getting. Jon noticed though and came over. “Here man let me help.” He spread out the mat and made sure everyone could see it. “Um, if you hadn’t guessed already it turns out Kaner has a stress form.”

The cacophony of questions began soon after. Everything from how the hell did we not know to what is he stressed over rang out. Kaner was trembling a little as they were shouted out. Jon had sat behind him, why he wasn’t sure but he was grateful for it. Especially when Jon leaned over and whispered near his ear. “You got this Kaner.”

When he finally was ready, Kaner started ‘talking’. Family condition, dad side. Mom not change. Treat normal, no questions. Not know why or when change happen, just does. Make sure am safe and be ok. Will not miss game.

That was all the guys needed to know to not have any more issues. It’s not like other guys didn’t have stress forms, it was more because Kaner hadn’t told any of them before. 

Practice, even without Kaner on the ice, was pretty normal. When Jon came back out from the showers he found a kitten panting in his stall. “Worked hard did you?” Kaner looked up piteously. He was tired. Jon moved him carefully and sat down. “We’ll grab some food on the way home. Looks like I’m packing for both of us.”

Kaner scrunched his eyes up. He couldn’t smile really but he could do this. Jon got them moving and back to his place with some food. While Jon packed Pat laid on the couch. He was sure now why he’d changed this time and what he needed to do to change back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. If people know how to do links on here PLEASE message me.


	3. Admissions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon's turn to surprise Pat in a few ways...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'd apologize for this being so short but I can't so I won't. I couldn't find a good way to move on from the ending of this chapter so I'll start up a new chapter and go from there.
> 
> Oh I'm looking for ideas for the final surprise, message me if you have one. I always give credit.

Once Jon was packed, they went to Pat’s place. “Ok man you gotta tell me what you want.” He put Kaner’s suitcase on the bed and started packing for their roadie. He started with the basics, socks and underwear. In short order Kaner had picked everything he wanted to take with him, including what electronics. He was now pulling out the larger communication mat from it’s place so that he and Jon could actually talk a bit.

Jon spread it out and looked impressed. “This is a bigger version of what you have at the rink right?” Pat nodded carefully. “You have something you need to talk to me about?” Pat pawed at the yes. Jon checks his watch. “We’ve got some time before we gotta get to the airport. What’s up?”

Pat internally sighs. Now if he can get Jon to understand he might be able to get back to normal. He screws up what courage he has in this small form and begins. Listen first, then questions. He looks up at Jon who just nods. Was too scared to tell anyone about this before, now not much.

Now to the heart of the matter Pat thinks as he begins working on telling Jon the why behind this current change. Remember Madison? Yep, he made sure to even have some punctuation on this one. Pat’s eyes flick up and sees Jon nodding. That we talk about but not the real reason I go. Only members of family who change are attracted to men. Dad not change, sisters and I do. He hears Jon sputter and then slap a hand over his mouth. This was going better than he could have hoped. The real reason behind this change is you. Pat then tapped the word ‘Questions?’ and lifted his eyes to Jon’s face. His little heart was pounding as he prayed this would go well.

Jon slowly pulled his hand off of his mouth. “You’re attracted to guys.” Pat nodded. “More specifically, me. Am I reading this right?” Pat nodded again. Jon slid off of the couch and face to face with Pat. “I… I don’t know what to say Pat. I…” He scrubbed his face and sighed, he hadn’t seen this admission coming.

Just then his phone rang. Without thinking he answered it. “Hello? Hi Maman. Wait… _you_ knew?!” He got up and walked into the kitchen. “Maman, what do I say?”

Andree sighed. “Son, I know it is difficult for you to talk about how you feel. I also know the pressure you and Patrick are under to look normal.” Jon squawked. “Please my son, I know you. Even if you are not ready to say your true feelings to Patrick, at least acknowledge his. Give him at least that much and maybe do some thinking about your end of this.” Jon sighed and wanted to argue with his mother but he knew he couldn’t. She must have understood what he didn’t say because she then gave him more to think about. “Go back and think about what attracted you to the girls you have dated and lied to. Then think about what about Patrick makes you pause. I have faith you will understand more after that.”

They hung up and Jon came back into the living room. Jon squared his shoulders and spoke carefully. “Pat, my mom just reminded me that I have to at least acknowledge your feelings.” He opened his laptop and unlocked a hidden file on it. “I don’t know how to talk to you about this just yet, but you should probably see this.” Pat hopped over to the couch and watched as Jon put the computer down and walked into Pat’s room.

On the screen came up one of the hottest things Pat had seen in a long time. It was nothing but words Jon had written, his diary of a sort, but it was all about Pat. Not a diary Pat he realized as he got into it. It was all fan fiction written by Jon about Pat and himself. It ranged from fluffy things that made Pat’s heart melt to things that _truly_ made Pat wish he had hands instead of paws. In every single one, near the end, were three words Pat had never heard Jon say, not even to the girls he had dated. Those three little words were always directed at Pat in the story. 

Jon came out shortly before they had to leave. Clearing his throat and making Pat jump in the process, he started and stopped a few times before actually getting words out. “No one knows about those. I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone either. We need to have a long and pretty serious conversation coming but before that happens two other things need to. I need to do some thinking about my life and such and you need to be human.” He scooped Pat up and nuzzled him. “You’re my best friend and the last thing I want to do is fuck things up.”

**Author's Note:**

> I blame this fic 100% on ice_hot_13! If she hadn't tortured someone in her tumblr fic I wouldn't have had to finish the ficlet I started months ago and keep going. This is my VERY first foray into the slash-ier side of fanfic. I hope you guys like it, if you do please leave a comment, even if it's only 'I love this!'.


End file.
